In his latest advice column, R. Eric Thomas addresses two readers seeking guidance on very different anxieties: the social acceptability of worn clothing and the pressure of navigating a college career.
The first letter, signed “Clothes’d Off,” comes from a reader who describes themselves as middle class but “clinging to the bottom rung by the tips of my fingers.” They ask how much wear is too much on personal items, noting that they recently wore sneakers to a matinee theater performance because their feet were hurting, and then worried about whether the sneakers were acceptable. After the outing, the new black sneakers had developed a white scuff mark that wouldn’t come off, and the white part near the sole became less white. The reader also mentions that their coat has a small tear on the side, and they cannot afford to replace it. They ask whether it’s acceptable to keep wearing imperfect items outside of work until replacements can be afforded.
Thomas responds with encouragement to be easier on oneself, noting that wear and tear on clothes—especially social wear—is not a crime or a sign of disrespect. He points out that theater attire customs have relaxed considerably, and that even a Broadway theater wouldn’t turn someone away for wearing sneakers. He emphasizes that what matters is showing up, and that when the lights go down, attention is on the stage.
Thomas also consulted professional stylist Erik Larson of Pretendertain (pretendertain.com) for the column. Larson said, “I know how important it is to tell your story through how you present yourself to the world.” He added, “I would encourage you to continue to show up for yourself and the world around you with the same confidence and thoughtfulness you’ve displayed here. And if it helps, embracing sustainability in your garments given the cyclical nature of the fashion industry is one of the best ways to be timelessly well-dressed, no matter where you are.”
The second letter, signed “Stuck Student,” is from a college sophomore who is self-financing their education, just turned 20, and feels behind peers and uncertain about a future career. Thomas advises using campus resources such as a career center, internships, advisers, and mentorships. He also suggests considering taking a year off or transferring if needed, and reminds the student that “comparison is not always the truth.”
The column, which is distributed by Tribune Content Agency, invites readers to send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110, and to follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.